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Fat Wizard Conspiracy (Acoustic)

from Fat Wizard Conspiracy (Single) by The Perfect Place

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about

I wrote this song a while back, but never recorded it. In honor of the release of the "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2" film, I decided to record and release it.

This is the acoustic version of the song.

lyrics

Perhaps you could call me lazy
Or just a tad naive
But you wouldn't see me walkin' around
If I could drift along inside a pensieve
I can't be the only one out there
And I don't mean to assume
But I wouldn't be hittin' the elliptical
If I could fly around on a broom

'Cause if I were a wizard, I'd be fat as hell
You don't need muscle when you're casting a spell
And if I were a wizard, i'd be overweight
'Cause who needs to walk around when you can apparate?

You might say playin' Quidditch
Is physical, that's true
But that's like one percent of all wizardkind
That argument just won't do
I think that i'm convinced now
Of a vast conspiracy
They're hiding witch and wizard fatties in Azkaban
And that don't sit well with me

[Chorus]

How are all these kids so fit?
Stuffing faces with House-Elf-pies?
Flying high on a hippogryph
Is not exactly exercise
You may think that physical discipline
Is part of magic folks' m.o.
But honestly, I wouldn't lift a finger
I'd just yell, "Accio!"

'Cause if i were a wizard, I'd be fat as hell
You don't need muscle when you're casting a spell
And if I were a wizard I'd be quite obese
Crabbe and Goyle ain't got nothin' on me!

Yeah, if i were a wizard, I'd be fat as hell
You don't need muscle when you're casting a spell
And if I were a wizard, I'd be overweight
'Cause who needs to walk around when you can apparate?

credits

from Fat Wizard Conspiracy (Single), track released July 12, 2011
Music and Lyrics by: Buel Newman

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The Perfect Place Annapolis, Maryland

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